Maestro, if you could please

Hello fellows. This blog has reached its 50th post, or its 3 month anniversary, I don't know which is more noteworthy. They're both probably not very mentionable (later celebrations will be more triumphant).
Anyhoo in honor if this occasion I have uploaded a special guests (that's right, for pluralzies) article. Happy something comrades. 50 posts of comedy gold.


Luvdisc

The experts agree. Existence is futile.

The experts: ["Ladies and gentlemen, today's Pokemon is Luvdisc. Let us now bow our heads in prayer (if you're against public prayer, feel free to go over there and stare at the wall for a minute)...our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, and"]

"My worst pokemon award probably goes to Luvdisc in my opinion. Luvdisc is not only weak, crappy looking and pretty much annoying but then comes the fact that lovey-dovey trainer couples use them (My most disliked trainers of all)."


"Absolutely retarded and pointless"


"If it had evolved into Alomomola, then it would have some point in being a Pokémon. Poor Luvdisc, it will never be loved for its disc-ness."

"I'm just going to phone this one in guys, is that cool?"

"You’re kidding me. Luvdisc doesn’t evolve into anything and nothing evolves into Luvdisc. It’s completely contained to the one stage without any decent moves or abilities. I can’t think of a single person who would waste a slot in their party on this quintessential filler Pokemon, unless they were purposefully mocking their opponents. I really have nothing more to say about this one."

"perhaps the single dumbest-looking Pokemon of all time"


"No <3 for Luvdisc."

"Luvdisc has sparked so man "Worst Pokemon Ever" lists that we could run a "Top 10 Luvdisc Haters" as its own feature. Not much to say. It's a heart, it's a filler Water Type, and it's absolutely useless. And we hate to say it, but it looks like an ass cushion."


"The "Filler Underclass" Pokémon.
Pokémon developers have to balance the demands of both role-playing elements and battle simulation, so we'll forgive them Raticate, Bidoof, and other beasties meant solely for the earliest stages of the game. Less forgivable is Luvdisc, one of the leaders of the "filler Pokémon" underclass. Seemingly created as an afterthought to fill out the generational design quota, these ugly, preposterously weak Pokémon toil in the shadow of a ruling class helmed by Pikachu and friends. That is, they'll be overshadowed until the revolution begins and the forgotten proletariat Pokémon finally rise up to take terrible revenge on their cruel nonmasters (pop quiz: What's a Farfetch'd?). But until then, we'll just go on making fun of whoever thought a heart-shaped Pokémon was a good idea. Fight on, comrades."


"just forget Luvdisc even exists"

"Hey, now, come on, guys! Why does everyone hate Luvdisc? I mean, yes, it's got very poor stats... and its name and appearance totally contradice each other... And its effect is pretty useless... And its moves suck...

Uh... you know what? Never mind. :p"


"inordinately fun to rip on because it sucks so bad in every sense of the word"


"It's a pink heart fish... A blind two-year old could make a better design. Really, how is it any good. And I quote from smogon. com "Charm turns Luvdisc into a very sturdy physical wall that can survive two Caterpie Tackles and force it to switch out. " Nuff said"








...Well that about covers it. You aren't the worst Pokémon ever, dear Luvdisc, but you've had the worst send-off yet seen on this blog. 
Now some exit music

with thanks to: Pokemaster Bloggers, Wikipedia, Phatality, Pokemon of the Day Chick, Top Ten Lists Bloggers, Chris Pranger, Kat Balley, Jack DeVries, and someone else

Look deeper

merci Geekstir

Yes!!!

Swampert O Swampy Swampert

eeeeyyyy look who it is

Mudkip I liked, he was cute and friendly yet could do business (to the extent that any good original starter was professional). Swampert here is like the awkward teenage years of Mudkip, when  growth spurts have thrown its limbs into strange lengths, its essence is now weirdness, and what was once cute is now just annoying (my teenage years were quite similar). 
And let's not forget the uncertainty that buds so frequently in that era; Swampert hasn't decided if its a fish or a frog, if it walks upright or on all fours, if it has fingers and toes or pieces of pasta.
We can only pray that this too will pass. 
But it won't because Swampert is the final evolution. 
Stuck in adolescence forever. 
Man that's gotta suck.

French exit [guest article]

"Yes, Magnezone. Magneton did NOT need another evolution. It looks so stupid. It thinks that it's so superior with that little antenna on top of its head and those 2 3 magnets. In case you haven't noticed, it has a magnet sticking out of its a**. I can already feel the love happening.

*Shudders*"

thanks again to Fuelbi?

Early taken

sont snot

boobs?

I don't have a very high opinion of Gulpin. This is obviously evident of its being posted here, but I feel apathetic to this evidencey. I mean what is this supposed to be?
When I first saw Gulpin I thought, slug? But then I realized I was hiding the truth from myself that its a booger. An animated booger. Slugs are far more evolved than boogers. 
Are those supposed to be hands? I first thought they were butts, then I realized they were breasts, but once I realized they were ballsacks, I found myself unable to un-see that. So I looked away.
There's also a dumb f*cking Inuit feather on its head. Christ

Brad Pitt for some reason [guest article]

"So, what's the deal with Grumpig? Is he a pig, or what? Why's he grumpy?

He seems pretty happy to me. Maybe because he just evolved out of the nightmarish hell that is being Spoink, and can now do things like rest and "not bounce all the time".

But now, he begins to get a bit complicated. 3 pearls, none of them as large or design-dominating as Spoink's. Two-tone, with what appear to be sleeves. I don't know, it seems a little much. Like, pigs aren't known for their fashion sense, and they tend to be all one color, don't they? They aren't animals with underbellies a different color, or anything.

But in general, Grumpig looks ugly to me. Nothing about him is intriguing in any way, and I don't believe for a minute anyone has ever looked at a Grumpig and said, "I want this on my team".


Overall: 2/10"

with thanks to the Straw Hat Samurai

Oh life

Hate Ash Ketchum?

weel join the "Ash Ketchum, the WORST Pokemon trainer, ever" Facebook group!

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Category:

Organizations - Political Organizations

Description:

Ash Ketchum, the worst Pokemon trainer to ever walk the Earth. In the early days, Ash Ketchum was a regular young Pokemon trainer with big dreams, he wanted to CATCH 'EM ALL! But would he? Could he? No Ash, you just couldn't do it. If we can all gather round and go back into his earlier adventures we will all remember when Ash committed one of his first acts of douchebaggery, aboard the S.S ANNE...See More

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Open: All content is public.

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• Nadia (creator)

Report Group

Ash Ketchum, the WORST Pokemon trainer, ever.

Reasons to join:

"The original tagline for the dub was "Gotta Catch 'Em All!", but Ash has only caught 9.94% of the current number of Pokémon. This line was eventually dropped in 2003.

Ash has caught or received 62 different individual Pokémon, 30 of which are his Tauros.

Ash never earned his Earth Badge, (8th badge in Kanto), it was simply given to him (along with many other badges) 


Aboard the S.S ANNE he met some guy who looked like a douchebag and traded his BUTTERFREE for the douchebags RATICATE. If you all remeber correctly, Caterpie was the first Pokemon that Ash ever caught. What an idiot. Not only was this a bad decision, Ash didn't have the balls to commit to this and traded back for his Butterfree within a few hours. [I remember that shit, so unbelievable, I fucking disowned Ash after that]"




now that you understand go here to join. your likemanship is important

Manic...trick

Mane and electric equals Manetric. gee f*cking wiz

Dude looks annoyed that he has to wear that hat. But he's trying to keep it cool. A dog Pokémon that's an electric type might be okay, but the developers let us down; Manectric looks like he was assembled from individual parts. 
When you look at his tail you find yourself looking away again. 
I guess Manectric would be kinda cool but his shame and ridiculous appearance invalidates most of the respect you could have for him. He looks like a dork.

Wurmple [guest article]

"the manifestation of all that is fail"




with thanks to Phatality

Bulbapedia's Demonstration of Hyper Beam

....

was... 

was that necessary?

Among the camp

The Kink Kronikles

Aren't Pokémon supposed to be like living things? 
These guys aren't dead, because being dead necessitates previously being alive. They've just been created without life.
As you can see, Klink becomes progressively less alive as it evolves.  The "left" one survives only to give personality to the whole, no matter how vacant and consistently vacant. Without it you'd just be playing pieces of metal. I really have no jokes about these Pokémon. They're gears.

Tension

thanks to TOM?

Genie Wooden [guest article]

"He’s kind of a cool genie-looking guy with a cool mustache, but I started to lose interest when I noticed he had a butt tentacle. Is it something awesome like a stinger or something? NOPE!

“The energy that comes pouring from its tail increases the nutrition in the soil, making crops grow to great size.”

So, he’s shooting fertilizer poképoop all over the place with his ass-hose. Great."

thanks to Brendan

Golbat is Confused

thanks to whomever

Candle

Oh joys are us. 

Meinfoo looks like one of those cases where someone who's morbidly obese goes on one of those weight-loss programs, and ends up with too much extra skin (is it wearing a skirt? No thats just the sag) (the muffin-top).

But its arms and legs went magenta somewhere in that process. I think the developers needed someway to show where its stomach ends and its legs begin. And then they also added the magenta to its arms, chest, and tail, you know, for constancy. 

I guess they were trying for some kind of fighting mouse. 

The B-Side to Ledyba [guest article]

"Kricketot isn't so bad. Sure, it's boring, and ugly, and… um… well that's really it. With so many really cool Bug Type Pokemon out there, Pokemon fans have no patience for the boring ones. Kricketot looks like he got all dressed to go to a party that nobody invited him to."

Thanks to  Jack DeVries of IGN